did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
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