In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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