come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
