he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Randomize
