Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize