Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
