NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize