White coat. Heels.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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