Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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