I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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