yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
