Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
operation have a gay friend backfired
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Randomize
