When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
