It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize