Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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