im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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