You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
