There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
