Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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