I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Randomize
