My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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