Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
