He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Randomize
