Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
We had sex on a dog bed..
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
