I got chris browned last night
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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