very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
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