i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
