i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize