I hate all girls vehemently.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Randomize