You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I can't turn off my feet"
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
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