it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
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