I'm lost and stupid without you.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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