if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
