well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
