You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
