Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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