I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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