Well apparently he's into motor boating.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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