It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
