you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Is Oprah even human
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
