Where is the hickey?
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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