For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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