ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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