i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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