You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
