I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
