Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
