Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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