I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
