I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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