I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
