Christians are straight up FREAKS
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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