Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
