the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Randomize
