Christians are straight up FREAKS
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Randomize
