me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
foreskin is a definite game changer
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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