I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
