The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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