Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
