doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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