I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
