super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
