Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
