no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
