Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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