Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
