Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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