every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
