alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
