did you get engaged???
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
