are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Randomize
