the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Randomize
