my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
