Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
