They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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