i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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